We are about to do something dumb

We're buying a new mattress. Gui has a lovely pillow top queen mattress but from the box springs underneath it has developed something known as the Taco Effect. You start off sleeping on your own side of the bed, but as the night goes on, some incredible gravitational force in the center of the mattress pulls you into the middle whether you like it or not, and whether or not someone else is already occupying the space. The alternative is sleeping on your side right at the edge of the mattress with an arm or a leg thrown over to anchor you in place. This results in numb shoulders, back pain, and an overall sense of anxiety because even while asleep you still have the sense that you're clinging untethered to the side of a mountain.

So we need a mattress to go on the hydraulic Transformer bed of ass kickingness (side note, I LOVE that bed. It's like a secret race car bed for adults. Does your bed have a hydraulic system? I did not think so). We're toying with the idea of buying the much stigmatized Bob-O-Pedic sight unseen based entirely on online reviews. You will be surprised to hear that we cannot afford the $6000 Dux Bed (at least not yet, bitches). I am again adopting the "how bad could it be?" attitude that has been the hallmark of every nearly catastrophic decision we've made during our Hey We're Adults Let's Live Together In Sin apartment journey. I'm talking about You, evil hungarian apartment with toilet peep show skylight.

We'll see. Bob's is apparently good with returns and lately I have been so exhausted that I feel like I have mono again, so at this point I could probably sleep in a meat suit on a bed of pirhanas and be ok.

Would anyone smarter than me (that's, I guess, everyone) like to weigh in on this issue? No comment will go unconsidered.